The ceiling didn't change much, as my eye lid opened to dawn. I stared at it for few minutes, while the day ahead flashed in front of my eyes making me blue with cynicism. Just another day i said to myself, same rush to the station, fighting through the crowd to get into the iron box. Standing in between that stranger mob, who would just attack for any movement which would bring discomfort to their posture they stood. The rage in their face no matter how beautiful the morning is. I couldn't but bring a wrinkle in my forehead with the thought...The wait outside the station like standing in race track waiting for the gun shot, where everyone just outwit everyone to pounce on a empty taxing which arrives quoting their destination like selling a box of apples. Those looks of winners who did make into one of the black and yellow rides, while the others continue awaiting the next lap. The discussion of numbers, talking to the group who constantly seek appreciation and motivation, those tasteless lunches, the blank stare at the computers. Pheww... just another day....i said to myself...
I saw the guitar lying in the table as i got dressed for leaving to work, why not play a little... for nothing more relaxing and inspiring than music.... i picked it up, started playing guns' n roses... the one i love the most... i played on , closed my eyes... as i moved my fingers through the string...singing the song in my head. When i finished i felt i was feeling good and motivated for some reason. I enthusiastically left to the station, but some thought was whelming up in my mind... felt like my thought kept circling around the guitar.... i tried focusing as i stood in the moving train... The thought occurred.....
Music motivated me... playing music motivated to be precise... actually wasn't it the same thing that i did all the time i played... but why is that i enjoy it or get motivated with it... No matter how many million times i do it... No matter the fingers play the same string all the time. i still feel good while doing it and while i complete it... But why do i get bored, depressed, while i do other things on a regular basis.... Why do i hate to repeat the same routine, as like the travelling in train, or at work . ???
Analysis which became my gift from where i wonder, i applied it here tooo... What happens while i play guitar.... i apply physical movement + remember mental notes + listen and enjoy the result.... what i do while at work... or doing anything in routine... i apply physical movement + apply memory or theory + just hate result... hmmmm....
The analysis that i call it... made it clear the word "hate" is the reason why the depression or dissatisfaction comes in... is cos it is already decided in mind, we will be unhappy with the result... what if for a moment i would just decide i would love the result... what if the travelling in a crowded train could be fun .. what if talking to those morning grumpies could be fun... what if talking numbers be a fun game.... maybe... it is just the word hate i need to get rid from my head...
I looked around... saw a grumpy old man... and said... its a great day today isnt it?... the grumpy man smiled .... the smile came back to me... and i was sure my positivity is resurrected...
