Newborns Conjured

Let the demons cry out loud...
Let the whining wolves howl all they could...
Let the sagas of miseries weep as they would..
I shall fall, but wont lay there as wood...

Ashes to dust many dreams have fled..
Rose the army again even from the dead..
Fearsome rage and grunting enemies i have behead...
From the dirt to the dark.. i have stayed and stayed ahead..

Let the rhymes keep its word...
let the rythms play as if it was cared..
Let the rooster scream like its choired...
Let the darkness peep from the chittered...

Drain to worms i have cleared...
Tears and guilt i have wiped...
Foregone s and bygones i have by passed..
Emotions and spirits i have countered..

Let the chains wind me hard...
let the sounds deaf my sound chord...
Let the sharpness saw my chest barred..
Let the brightness get my eyesight fired..

Satans and original sins i have conquered..
Reapers and Yemens i have cornered...
Self Pity and needs i have endured...
Victory and proclaim i have favoured...

Let the days play its card..
Let the seasons do as it could..
Let the sun set and rise as it would..
let the waves reach the shore for what i cared...

The great awakening i have conjured...
The new beginning i have domineered...
Its the saga unsung now re entered..
Marches will now continue with twice its might as if rediscovered..

Nidhish P Kavinnamannil

Stranger in my own life..

Let me sleep till the raindrops dry...
For the wind blew through the strange streets of heaven..
Paradox are the blocks the roads built in as even...
Questions never seem to cease and screams are with a cry...

Let me close my eyes till the summer's weary...
For the emotions went underground to swing on the roots of aspen..
Memories are just a grey smoke now smeared and broken...
Imagination are slow now, has lost its chivalry...

Let me rest till the dry leaves fly...
For the fire seemed to have been bed ridden...
romance has become the fertilizer for the unsmitten...
Passions non existent now, wonder if it existed at all in the foundry..

Let me hide till the world will lose its sly...
For my life seem to have become a land alien and foreign..
Existence is now just a act of reaction and written...
Friendly faces seem to faint... where am i in ancestry?

Let me sleep till the next day comes by...
where the wind of fire will blow through the known streets of heaven..
Alive i shall be, and passion will burn like haven...
Pride and joy will fill my soaring heart and shut the buffoonary..

Let me take a nap till the soul wakes up and fly...
For i am a stranger in my own life as an alien...
Remembering and reminding myself of who iam and what to win and When...
Glory and Freedom, Liberty and Leadership is what i need to apply...

Let Me wake up as the words register in air and as i sigh...
Who am i ... Who am i?? have i fallen?
Vision or wisdom, am i following them even?
Stranger in my own life...Yes Stranger but why??

Nidhish

Wake me up...

The unsung melodies drowse me to sleep...
The rotten scripts of yesterdays are no more deep..
The value adds sound important no more..
The non-value adds arent fun any more...

The gods directions are now just a weep...
The inner strengths are just voices like a beep...
The dreams and inspirations i no longer adore..
The documented destiny has just become a unsold book in bookstore..

Glorious sound of marches are now just a cheep..
The procrastination is all that i now reap...
The immortality is now just a word of decor...
The purity of thought is now just an extempore..

Wake me up from my knees as i weep...
The sense of directions have vanished even if i peep...
The seasons have eaten my soul as i overbore...
The heart seem to be filled with pain in galore...

Wake me up from my knees as i weep...
Wake me up from my knees as i weep...

Nidhish P Kavinnamannil

Michael Jackson -Immortality Granted

" The desire of immortality will pass, and so will the one who desired it"

25 Jun 2009 when i heard the demise of the bad boy MJ... First thought, yeah right... another gimmick...for some reason i just refused to believe that Michael Jackson... the king of pop... would ever die...

My mind as always in an idiotic moment... thought of all possibilities of why this news cannot be true...

Thought 1 : Michael Jackson who always does everything king size... In India he performed in TAJ MAHAL that's huge...and who always had surprised people in several instances at times in whackiest of ways too... what if he is just creating this news just to make a surprise appearance for his Much awaited come back concert world wide...

Thought 2 : Michael Jackson was already proclaimed dead before.. i guess in 2007 or some... maybe its just another spoof such as that...

Thought 3 : Michael Jackson desired immortality..he then realized he will die soon.. well for all the pills he has eating ...he wanted to check if he happens to die which he knew he will one day...would people remember him, will he at least achieve glory... so he just created this news and stayed away and is still watching whats happening worldwide with the news of his death....

Then the news followed ... showed the burial... sooner i knew its true...

The man who desired immortality ...has actually passed away... but is he not immortal... he has somehow managed in his life time to be known as a king of something... he has somehow creeped into every single persons heart through out the world... a uneducated farmer in a remote village in kerala knows his name and knows only him as the only firangi singer .. now that he is gone... people still call him the king of pop... and it looks like it will be only him who will be called that...

so is he mortal... i believe not.. i believe whatever way it could.. he has achieved immortality... in spite death has consumed him... in spite that his body will decompose... his thoughts and his music... his methods.. his dance ... will be immortal....

When i thought of the possibility of thought 3: i felt grief...well if he is alive... he must be watching in spite of his death.. people are still speaking and well getting attention of his disgraceful controversy of child molestation .. i felt pain as i saw the review of his house keeper speaking to the media saying she saw him do those dreadful acts... she saw him feeding liquor to children though a milk bottle... if it was a lie and if he was alive... how much would it hurt him... would it hurt him to know that yes he has achieved glory... and also achieved glory in a negative way as well...

As children , we are said people when they die they become stars and they watch us from above... if Michael Jackson has become a star... is he watching all this nonsense ... i feel pain with the thought of that...

CANT WE LET IT BE... FOR THE DEAD... he is dead and gone... can we stop harassing the poor soul... he was laughed at, mocked at, rapped against ... for his appearances, his controversies... his absent mindedness... when he was alive... and have done that for beyond 10 years.. cant we just stop this nonsense and show respect to the dead....

Michael Jackson was an extremely talented , positively charged performer... he was best of the best... and overall as he desired... he is immortal even after his death... In spite of what everybody say... We all miss THE KING OF POP - MICHAEL JACKSON...

NIDHISH P KAVINNAMANNIL

Forgotten melodies..

Memoirs of Unknown Haunting...
Like an old smell bud has opened..
I recollect some scenes black and blinking..
Unable to identify which has triggered this land slide..

Lost Love or cherished feelings...
What does this drink open up on the left side..
The melodies are rhythmic to my sulking..
Is it unhappiness that i am trying to hide...

My mind has gathered as if feasting...
Nightmares are awake yet forgotten by pride..
The chit chat of crowd is an ode to remembering...
whats hurting am yet to confide...

Feeling emotions yet to be named that am pondering..
or am i just making a reason to cry and abide..

Memoir of unknown haunting..
God knows what am seeking to find...

Nidhish

Diskette screetching..

The diskette which played sweetest music of love...
seem to have rusted with the rain drops...
all i could hear it play is whines and complains...
the warmth of the voice seem to have become gruff...

there it is.. the expiration of love seems lesser than the power of crocin..
i wake up most times with the question... am i cut out for the whole lovey dovey thing..

i stayed single for a few years.. i call them the HARI OM Period... was it better then? what about the empty space? was i creating that space myself in my freaking head... or was it a matter of choice...did i make a bad choice...

I am right... so is the diskette which plays that awful sounds sometimes... i liked it when it played those wonderful music, it made me laugh at times.. well it just kept me away from something where i felt the peace , care and helped me get away from the whole pollution...

Should there be an upgrade... should i make a replacement... or should i just wait for the better music... as if like listening to a radio....

or should i just go back to HARI OM!

Nidhish

Bicentennial man

"I always wanted to make sense out of things..to make a meaning out of what my existence means.. what i represent.. more importantly to be acknowledged"

the movie Directed by Chris Columbus, an old saga of the robot, An android who endeavors to become human as he gradually acquires emotions and further understands key elements of humanity. a beautiful movie indeed which intrigued my thoughts... a robot who learns ... realizes the most important thing as he grows up... "freedom"... on achievement of the sweet pleasure of freedom. he realizes his lifes meaning is nothing as it ends if he is not acknowledged.

I guess his war in life is nothing different from mine.. or maybe many of us. We got life, we learnt as we grew, most times we dont think beyond it. for some we struggle for some sort of independence or freedom, at times merely a financial freedom, emotional freedom, creative freedom, free thinking. many never succeed even at this stage for many it does. some free thinkers go beyond... they realize their life has no meaning unless they stand for some thing. their existence is nulled, unless they are acknowledged for they are born. it does not mean fame or approval but merely acknowledgment of their existence.

I look at my life as i ponder on this thought, i was born, i learnt, i am fighting for my several independence. but i realize even as i fight for my independence of these several sections, i need acknowledgement in this world. for people to remember there lived a man named nidhish, there lived a man who had something to say regarding something. there lived a man who represented something, who fought his life to achieve something.

i am nothing but a bicentennial man, a robot unless i achieve my freedom and get acknowledged !!

Nidhish P kavinnamannil

Sweet Emotional Atyachar....

"Admiration is just the mirror image of what you want to see yourself as"

The chuckles of the old man... the friendliness of the police man... the poised movement of the girl in the coffee shop near churchgate... every passing being gave a wimp of admiration to me...

Today as i lay back in my bed, with my love peeping through my shoulder on the letters i type today... i wonder do i need more admiration... do i need to find myself better than anything that i am at this moment... i shall disagree...
If content is a word of feeling completely in comfort... thats just an understatement to what i feel at this moment... its early morning, had a tough day, more expectations were met, and some unmet... more deadlines i missed and many more details i couldnt control today... but even at this hour in the morning i feel fresh and awake... i feel alive and smiling....

Admiration if not found... we shall find that is within the same ones whom you connect... at this moment am admiring the beauty who lies next to me... i admire the wink in her eyes, when jealousy creeps in as she read the comments of this blog by another lady...maybe she justified it herself for she said nothing to me... maybe she realised it was last years blog ... or maybe it could be just trust... now... thats another thing that i admire at this moment... the word "idiot" as she says it sounds like " I do Ishque only thumse" at this moment... where at another hour it could be a insulting word... now i admire her capablity to make me think this way...

Admiration, is for something you dont have... if it is that... i sure do admire her ... her sense of humour...her smile.. her fashion sense... her dream... her commitment ... her persistence and endurance(considering the part she is with me, inspite of me being me) ... will admiration be an understatement here...

Or would it be love... would it be a divine intervention... could it be purely meant to be... or is it just the high of romance that i am writing all this...

What ever it maybe ... i call this a classic moment...something to cherish and to remember....

Or is it just an Sweet Emotional Atyachar....