"Wag your tail, or no bread"...
Its my birthday today... 29th June , it was the same day quarter or more a life time ago at 11:00 pm i arrived into this world. Kicking and screaming for taking me away from the comfort zone, the warmth and cozy compartment where i didnt have to seek for food, respect, love or acceptance.... Time to celebrate?? Time to blow a candle... expect a few gifts... feel good about my existence for i have grown a year older ...?
For some reason.. i remembered my dog who crossed over few months ago as i stared at the drizzle through my window... the little "hiccup" who came to me when he was 3 months old .. and i remembered how i trained him... how i taught him to wait for the food till i ask him to take the bite.. how i seasoned him of his habits... how i congratulated him everytime he picked my ball and returned it to me... i didnt celebrate his birthday... he didnt ask for a celebration, nor did he feel bad when none wished him... But what if i did train him, told him his birth date, and informed him that its time of celebration... would he have got felt the same as am feeling today...
Celebration, another indicator to be the victim of the society... a occasion that we expect people to surround us, cheer us, wish us, make us feel good. Another inevitable need of man to feel happiness based on others... Are we seasoned like the dog from childhood... to celebrate , to feel good on every occasion we get... Is birthday really another man search for another such occasion..
Whatever the case it might be...It is indeed a wonderful feeling of love and care... its just made my day when my family gave me a suprise party at midnight.. when my sister gave me the most beautiful guitar as a gift.. the messages, calls and scraps from people... all made me smile.... if its lame... i guess happiness associated is not something any wouldnt refuse...
I guess my multiple brains wars would never end... the Mediocre, sagic and extremist minds will debate on every occasion this way.. this one mediocre wins..
Nidhish
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
There you go again...
Reciprocate!! Rebel!!.. Restore!! heaven in this land of forbidden minds...
Where the minds destroy minds...
Envy and fear in every sound...
Rage and gloom is in every eyes...
The land where genuinity is a myth...
Expression is a fake routine...
Words belongs to deception..
And emotions are numbed....
Restore the peace of the souls which hurts in this merciless crusade of life...
Restore the rejoice which still dangles in my mind as a distant dream...
Reciprocate and Rebel...
Stand up and look in the eye!! of the Creator!!
Who has send you down with a purpose to question his own creations and Mock...
To destroy and then to learn and adapt...
To figure out as mere humans and to curse the existence but still smiling understanding what the curse meant to be...
Roles to play...
Part to act.... The emotions running though as if it was real , amazes the existences of what it could...
Limb or made limb... maybe we aint limb...Destruction must be at its best or our imagination we find reasons and be handicapped...
Love is destroyed...
Loneliness i my new best friend... Which could make me stare at the sun more often...
What a game... A game with numbers called humans...
Everything meant for a good reason...
Bravo on putting these thoughts to the make it easier in life...
Yes desire is the dreams... its is also the destiny...
So i Oblige yet rebel... Whine and yet embrace this game...
Here i go again ... Rebelling and Cursing... Fighting the waves... and sparring with the wind... arguing to the thunder and grunting at the lightning... Who am i fighting here... Existence... Life.. Creator... Society... or demon called impatience...
Nidhish
Where the minds destroy minds...
Envy and fear in every sound...
Rage and gloom is in every eyes...
The land where genuinity is a myth...
Expression is a fake routine...
Words belongs to deception..
And emotions are numbed....
Restore the peace of the souls which hurts in this merciless crusade of life...
Restore the rejoice which still dangles in my mind as a distant dream...
Reciprocate and Rebel...
Stand up and look in the eye!! of the Creator!!
Who has send you down with a purpose to question his own creations and Mock...
To destroy and then to learn and adapt...
To figure out as mere humans and to curse the existence but still smiling understanding what the curse meant to be...
Roles to play...
Part to act.... The emotions running though as if it was real , amazes the existences of what it could...
Limb or made limb... maybe we aint limb...Destruction must be at its best or our imagination we find reasons and be handicapped...
Love is destroyed...
Loneliness i my new best friend... Which could make me stare at the sun more often...
What a game... A game with numbers called humans...
Everything meant for a good reason...
Bravo on putting these thoughts to the make it easier in life...
Yes desire is the dreams... its is also the destiny...
So i Oblige yet rebel... Whine and yet embrace this game...
Here i go again ... Rebelling and Cursing... Fighting the waves... and sparring with the wind... arguing to the thunder and grunting at the lightning... Who am i fighting here... Existence... Life.. Creator... Society... or demon called impatience...
Nidhish
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Inspired from the Dead
What a swell ….
To lay in the cold earth when the sun shine so fierce…
To smell the lilies mixed with wet earth
To hear the song of the woods…
And the hums of the Owls..
To remember the times of the Forsaken Life…
And Sigh for its long gone..
Remember the faces which brightened the day…
And then one day say good bye….
What a swell…
To buddy up with the rats of the underworld…
As they consumed the flesh and feed the worms..
The gifts presented while the door closed the reality…
Touches my face as I lay cold and vanish In air…
Lessons learnt are no good in here…
Regrets won’t help…
Screams and cry are in vain…
Rejoice might never exist…
Just the sleep till Eternity…
Getting consumed every moment…
And a smile it looks like comes to the moment of this peace…
Does it really matter if heaven and hell exist…
All that is desirable is to have the eternal Sleep….
Nidhish
To lay in the cold earth when the sun shine so fierce…
To smell the lilies mixed with wet earth
To hear the song of the woods…
And the hums of the Owls..
To remember the times of the Forsaken Life…
And Sigh for its long gone..
Remember the faces which brightened the day…
And then one day say good bye….
What a swell…
To buddy up with the rats of the underworld…
As they consumed the flesh and feed the worms..
The gifts presented while the door closed the reality…
Touches my face as I lay cold and vanish In air…
Lessons learnt are no good in here…
Regrets won’t help…
Screams and cry are in vain…
Rejoice might never exist…
Just the sleep till Eternity…
Getting consumed every moment…
And a smile it looks like comes to the moment of this peace…
Does it really matter if heaven and hell exist…
All that is desirable is to have the eternal Sleep….
Nidhish
Feminity at its best?
The bearer, the beautifier and soother called Women…
I respect women, actually I love women.. to watch, to romance, to learn from, to walk together.. to speak to… Women’s ability to bring in comfort to anyone is immediate… just a smile and the voice… why just the scent of a women is itself soothing for any crude hearted… They could make anything look good with just their touch, they could make any sickness go away with just a caress… any worries to fade away with a kiss… and any dream achievable by just sitting with you… they bring the best out of anyone …they bring light, joy, love and even wisdom into a circle…
I have seen several women in my walk of life… interestingly… every one of them were different… call my education and interest in quality , I do something called as grouping… the old trick from the book where you categorize people in the forms of common characteristics…. Well I know no women appreciates comparing… and would like to believe they are unique… I don’t disagree to that … I just am putting some characteristics into grouping…
I wouldn’t pen down my entire analysis.. Trust me you wouldn’t like it… so am just penning what I call as major or strong characteristics… being a man , I shall try to please you in my words try to curb my curt insults if any…
Inspite of the splendid qualities they carry, the magnanimous wonders that they are..Every women is ruled by a few primary demons as I may call it… Some of major ones amusingly are ridiculous… Insecurity being the primary, every women or atleast 97.9% of the women suffer from insecurity not insecure about others in life well that is a part of them but what am specifying is their insecurity is about themselves… Every women good looking or not, fat or slim, tall or short..Most feel they are putting on weight….amusingly even lean ones want to reduce some more… If they are a bit taller they feel insecure of that could actually see women stooping and walking as if that would reduce the centimeters, well even more amusing ones in the insecurity of their physique is , people stooping for having according to them bigger breasts.. hehe… That’s of the insecurity of their body… insecure of being not so lady like.. confused ..well every women ensures that their standards according to others perception is high… they cannot stand others think that they are being slutty or easy or flirty or whatever.. so every movement of them especially when they are with a man is governed in wondering how would this action of mine reflect… that reflection is good…however this brings in doubt to their every move, they want to kiss , no they don’t want to kiss.. then they kiss.. and they ask “ you don’t think am easy do you?... Cute indeed but why this confusion….if a man leaves them they something is wrong with them hence that happened…
2nd primary characteristics I observed is their they tend to be exploitative, well yes exploitative around 94%… they somehow being themselves and men that are fools often give in .. then onwards its womens incessant need to exploit and conquer everything that man has…Primarily his time… it is like a must that a man should call her to say how much he misses her or loves as many time as he can or the hells loose… It provides no justification to if he is genuinely busy or was amidst hell and was unable to do the duty, but for a women that’s an insult. if a man doesn’t call them after the first date they feel like a fool..for all you know they stop being in touch with the person, switch off the phone.. Darn Dramatic.. but that’s women… so they conquer time.. they don’t stop there they want ownership over every other thing of his, his thoughts, his attention, they even want to share the bed, and house and everything.. now for the need of the physical favour or for genuine love, men give women all the authority on them. Right or wrong am no one to judge am just stating what I gathered. If you don’t let them ….
Well you stay single like me…
Nidhish
I respect women, actually I love women.. to watch, to romance, to learn from, to walk together.. to speak to… Women’s ability to bring in comfort to anyone is immediate… just a smile and the voice… why just the scent of a women is itself soothing for any crude hearted… They could make anything look good with just their touch, they could make any sickness go away with just a caress… any worries to fade away with a kiss… and any dream achievable by just sitting with you… they bring the best out of anyone …they bring light, joy, love and even wisdom into a circle…
I have seen several women in my walk of life… interestingly… every one of them were different… call my education and interest in quality , I do something called as grouping… the old trick from the book where you categorize people in the forms of common characteristics…. Well I know no women appreciates comparing… and would like to believe they are unique… I don’t disagree to that … I just am putting some characteristics into grouping…
I wouldn’t pen down my entire analysis.. Trust me you wouldn’t like it… so am just penning what I call as major or strong characteristics… being a man , I shall try to please you in my words try to curb my curt insults if any…
Inspite of the splendid qualities they carry, the magnanimous wonders that they are..Every women is ruled by a few primary demons as I may call it… Some of major ones amusingly are ridiculous… Insecurity being the primary, every women or atleast 97.9% of the women suffer from insecurity not insecure about others in life well that is a part of them but what am specifying is their insecurity is about themselves… Every women good looking or not, fat or slim, tall or short..Most feel they are putting on weight….amusingly even lean ones want to reduce some more… If they are a bit taller they feel insecure of that could actually see women stooping and walking as if that would reduce the centimeters, well even more amusing ones in the insecurity of their physique is , people stooping for having according to them bigger breasts.. hehe… That’s of the insecurity of their body… insecure of being not so lady like.. confused ..well every women ensures that their standards according to others perception is high… they cannot stand others think that they are being slutty or easy or flirty or whatever.. so every movement of them especially when they are with a man is governed in wondering how would this action of mine reflect… that reflection is good…however this brings in doubt to their every move, they want to kiss , no they don’t want to kiss.. then they kiss.. and they ask “ you don’t think am easy do you?... Cute indeed but why this confusion….if a man leaves them they something is wrong with them hence that happened…
2nd primary characteristics I observed is their they tend to be exploitative, well yes exploitative around 94%… they somehow being themselves and men that are fools often give in .. then onwards its womens incessant need to exploit and conquer everything that man has…Primarily his time… it is like a must that a man should call her to say how much he misses her or loves as many time as he can or the hells loose… It provides no justification to if he is genuinely busy or was amidst hell and was unable to do the duty, but for a women that’s an insult. if a man doesn’t call them after the first date they feel like a fool..for all you know they stop being in touch with the person, switch off the phone.. Darn Dramatic.. but that’s women… so they conquer time.. they don’t stop there they want ownership over every other thing of his, his thoughts, his attention, they even want to share the bed, and house and everything.. now for the need of the physical favour or for genuine love, men give women all the authority on them. Right or wrong am no one to judge am just stating what I gathered. If you don’t let them ….
Well you stay single like me…
Nidhish
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Friendship they call it…
A Pal, a buddy, A companion, a comrade, closeness.. some of the words used to define friendship… I have a few friends in my life I call as friends…a very few… happy that it is few… for I see several beings around here.. whom they derive newer meanings for friendship… and am definite I shall never call it friendship…
Some of the recent meanings as I may apply here.. and I wonder if any dictionary would publish it so…
Meaning 1 – Friend = Instruments –A person or group of people used for getting out of my loneliness. Interestingly the person might not even get along with this “instrument” but would religiously spend time with the person. The moment he/she finds women, better instruments etc. he shall just move on.
Meaning 2 – Friend = Spectators – A person or group of people who would sit and listen to my boast and achievements. The person do not care how the “friend” speak or behave as far as the attention is given to the persons boast and achievements.
Meaning 3- Friend = Potential Applicant – A person who could be considered for a boy friend or girl after assessing in detail of the credibility. The person will make friends with the person, maybe for reasons like he is cute, or she has good whatever… and would remain friends till the time the short listing or rejection happens.
Meaning 4 – Friend = Waiting list – A person or group of people used for entertainment till the time I find a partner. The person spends a good amount of time while working through his partner hunt and the moment the person is present he/she shall be forgotten.
In my pursuit to learn human mind… I spend time with a few others I might not quote.. 1 who spends time with a group for the reason he needs to be in a group of course for all the benefits that it gives not it that it makes any difference in his life. And another who would let his best friend as he calls it be insulted by his girl friend while his tails is nicely folded and kept behind his back side and utter no word even to patronize the situation. Hehe.. A slave to a girl.. as I may call it..may be.. but that’s a different blog….
Real friends make life... but what is real friendship??
Nidhish
Experimenting with Human Mind
“If you could you should”
said an old man.. I could not help but think and make a list of things I could but I aint doing … well the list was pretty long… divided into 3 category…
1) I could and I have used that skill or power or ability…
2) I could but I rather not use that skill call it the integrity factor…
3) I am not sure if I have but I think I have that ability… now the 3rd factor was indeed intriguing well not just intriguing actually very challenging and scary… some of them were like this as the list mention below..Some of them I rather not mention
i)I think I can learn anything I want… any subject any language –so I made a list of random subject which sounded disinteresting and difficult… and I picked it up… felt extremely happy to learn and complete succesfully… its not complete yet but on the way feeling more and more good about myself able to do it…
ii) I think I can move people with words..Written or spoken … well this is something I really tried… I wrote poems to see if I can lure a girl.. I wrote articles challenging organization… I wrote story to see if it made people think..I made public speeches and saw how people responded... I was convinced this has moved from i think to i can...
iii) I think i can influence a person’s mind or psychology... The topic of this blog is a result of this thinking... and trust me when i say a very dangerous one...dangerous for the mediocre and human needs I have… which I shall explain … I wanted to ensure influence I would make is positive… started off randomly with people who is going through some sort of confusion, discomfort, pain in their life.. spoke to them.. philosophized and read the influence is created… I did with this with colleagues and people I knew and met new people too often for that too…
Side effect of this or the challenge in this factor I wish to check if I have the ability often came to a stand still… when I get my emotions attached to the subject am practicing my potential… in simpler words.. when I was helping someone, or influencing a mind… my emotional attachment to the person often complicated… the expectation of them is for me to not to influence their mind or impose, push them to do something for even for good… haven’t you heard a psychologist can never be friends with their patients… that is the case… now am not trying or posing to be a psychologist.. am just checking my ability to make an impact on another person…. I succeeded several times… yet I felt painful for in a project there is always a definite beginning and an end… and when I ended I felt hurt.. at times I had to end it abruptly with random ways…
I don’t intend to play god.. I aint deciding what is right or wrong… I just choose to experiment with others mind to check my own ability to guide, motivate, influence human mind… my loneliness that I blame.. now I feel bad for after realizing my ability to make an influence is immense… I have remained alone writing this blog as if to justify for my loneliness… Ironically I am successful in stretching my abilities but remain socially dysfunctional in the whole game of knowing the deeper within… Many more in the list and i might share some of them in other blogs
Nidhish
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