Experimenting with Human Mind

“If you could you should”

said an old man.. I could not help but think and make a list of things I could but I aint doing … well the list was pretty long… divided into 3 category…
1) I could and I have used that skill or power or ability…
2) I could but I rather not use that skill call it the integrity factor…
3) I am not sure if I have but I think I have that ability… now the 3^rd factor was indeed intriguing well not just intriguing actually very challenging and scary… some of them were like this as the list mention below..Some of them I rather not mention

i)I think I can learn anything I want… any subject any language –so I made a list of random subject which sounded disinteresting and difficult… and I picked it up… felt extremely happy to learn and complete succesfully… its not complete yet but on the way feeling more and more good about myself able to do it…
ii) I think I can move people with words..Written or spoken … well this is something I really tried… I wrote poems to see if I can lure a girl.. I wrote articles challenging organization… I wrote story to see if it made people think..I made public speeches and saw how people responded... I was convinced this has moved from i think to i can...

iii) I think i can influence a person’s mind or psychology... The topic of this blog is a result of this thinking... and trust me when i say a very dangerous one...dangerous for the mediocre and human needs I have… which I shall explain … I wanted to ensure influence I would make is positive… started off randomly with people who is going through some sort of confusion, discomfort, pain in their life.. spoke to them.. philosophized and read the influence is created… I did with this with colleagues and people I knew and met new people too often for that too…

Side effect of this or the challenge in this factor I wish to check if I have the ability often came to a stand still… when I get my emotions attached to the subject am practicing my potential… in simpler words.. when I was helping someone, or influencing a mind… my emotional attachment to the person often complicated… the expectation of them is for me to not to influence their mind or impose, push them to do something for even for good… haven’t you heard a psychologist can never be friends with their patients… that is the case… now am not trying or posing to be a psychologist.. am just checking my ability to make an impact on another person…. I succeeded several times… yet I felt painful for in a project there is always a definite beginning and an end… and when I ended I felt hurt.. at times I had to end it abruptly with random ways…

I don’t intend to play god.. I aint deciding what is right or wrong… I just choose to experiment with others mind to check my own ability to guide, motivate, influence human mind… my loneliness that I blame.. now I feel bad for after realizing my ability to make an influence is immense… I have remained alone writing this blog as if to justify for my loneliness… Ironically I am successful in stretching my abilities but remain socially dysfunctional in the whole game of knowing the deeper within… Many more in the list and i might share some of them in other blogs

Nidhish